|If you’re a recently divorced Mom, there’s a good chance that internet dating wasn’t as big before you were married as it is now. Which means that you have this whole other dating world open to you that you didn’t have before. A place where you can meet all kinds of people and sell yourself to the best of your abilities.|
|But after you’ve been through a tough divorce, getting back into dating is pretty daunting, no matter how much easier internet dating might make it. And if you have kids, it adds a whole extra layer of stress. Newly single and looking to date online? Read on for the five things that single moms should (or shouldn’t) do on internet dating sites.|
DO: Take advantage of the open forum.
When you’re dating in the real world, one of the most awkward and stressful moments is when you choose to divulge that you have kids. How is your date going to take it? Is he still going to be interested in seeing you when he finds out? Will he think you told him to late… or too early?
For single moms (and dads), one of the best things about internet dating is that you can completely remove this stressful question from the equation. Because with your internet dating profile, you lay all of this information out on the line from the get-go. People who spend any time reading your profile know you have kids, because you mention it there. If they’re not interested, you don’t even need to speak to them, much less waste time dating them. And if they do contact you, you know they’re not bothered by your having children. It takes a lot of awkward questions out of the dating process.
DO: Be clear about what you want.
In a way, divorced daters have something of an advantage. You know what you’ve had in the past, and it’s probably given you a very good idea of what you want moving forward. So while you don’t want to outline every aspect of a perfect man in your internet dating profile, you do want to have a clear idea of what you’re looking for from the very beginning. When you know what you want, it’s that much harder to settle for less.
DON’T: Gush about your kids.
You know that your kids are just about the best thing in the entire universe. And you eventually hope to find a man who agrees with you about that (at least, in part). There’s no reason to think you won’t find him! But that doesn’t mean you should use your kids as part of your advertising campaign. In fact, the exact opposite is true.
Just because a guy is okay with the idea of you being a single mom doesn’t mean he wants to hear much about your kids at this point. Keep the focus of your internet dating profile on you, and only mention your kiddos in passing. At this point, he’s a lot more interested in hearing about your personality and interests than he is in hearing about your daughter’s status as an honor roll student.
DO: Let the kids know what’s up.
Of course, your kids don’t need to know every detail of your social life. In fact, it’s best to wait until you’ve been dating somebody awhile before you even introduce him to your kids. But that doesn’t mean your kids should be kept completely in the dark, either. After a divorce, the most important thing for your kids is stability. But kids aren’t stupid; they know the difference between a date and a friend. Be sure they know you’re dating again, and let them know what to expect from the situation. And be sure to reassure them that no matter who you meet, they’ll always be the ones that come first.
DON’T: Sit back and wait for the right guy.
You know what you want from a new relationship, right? Well, it’s up to you to go out and find it! When you just get stared with dating and internet dating after a divorce, it can be tempting to sit back and let somebody else take the reins. And while that’s okay for a little while, at some point you’ve got to take control of your own love life. Most dating sites like Datepad have a search function. Don’t wait for him to come to you; let your fingers do the walking, and maybe you’ll find him.
By Karen Lynn