|When it first began about a decade ago, internet dating was sort of a strange concept. Not many people were doing it, and the ones who were tended to be of a certain common type. Not anymore. Today, internet dating is a booming, ever-growing business, and the stigma of meeting somebody online has all but disappeared. And while this is a great thing for internet daters in general, the sheer number of people online means that singles have to do more and more in order to get noticed on internet dating sites.
|Which is why online dating coaches and other similar companies are popping up all over the net. These companies will help you with anything from writing your profile, to sifting through search results, to putting together the perfect photo portfolio. And a lot of new online daters swear by them.
The History of Dating Coaching
Dating coaching isn’t something that’s just popped up with the invention of internet dating. This is an industry with a decades-long history. Remember all those movies in the mid-20th century about matchmakers? Well, they’re still around. The difference is that, in addition to helping you choose better clothing and teaching you to perfect your style of conversation, modern dating coaches can also help you to market yourself more effectively online.
Why Coaching Works
When two people are in a romantic relationship, the focus is on each-other. How each person makes the other feel and how their relationship works when they’re together. But when two people meet on an internet dating site, there’s always going to be a certain amount of “selling” involved in getting that first date in the first place. You have to sell potential dates on the idea of who you are. And unfortunately, everybody with an online profile isn’t necessarily good at doing that. Sure, everything they need to sell themselves is there… they just don’t have the ability (or, sometimes, the time) to do the actual selling.
Despite common opinion, using a coach to sell the best version of you doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re giving prospective dates a version that doesn’t exist. Here’s a good example of how this sort of process works. In reality, Carl is an interesting, relaxed, and fun person to be around. And he says so on his profile, hoping it will attract the perfect woman his way. But despite Carl’s fabulous personality, he never does get many responses. Why? Because that sparkling personality is not showing up on his profile. Sure, he will get some dates via his online profile, but chances are they will be with the wrong sort of person.
An internet dating coach’s job is simply to show Carl what he’s doing wrong– not to change who he says he is. His coach will teach Carl how to present that sparkling personality of his on his profile, how to send an attention-getting email to an interesting prospect, and how to attract the right sort of person to his online profile.
Kinds of Internet Dating Coaches
In general, this is a one-time coaching service, and is probably the most popular of the bunch. Profile editors will look over your profile and tell you what isn’t working, and why. The good ones will help you put together a profile that displays you as the best possible version of yourself. The not-so-good ones will do nothing to help all. So shop carefully!
Full service internet dating coaching is a fairly new –but growing– sector. These coaches help you every step of the way, from putting together your profile to sending appealing emails and using search, to profiling the kind of date you should be looking for. And it’s a service that doesn’t come cheap.
Internet dating photo services do anything from helping you choose and re-touch your existing photographs for use on an online profile, to actually setting up and working through an entire photo shoot to get the best possible profile photo. The first option isn’t so expensive. The second one generally is.
Most people don’t need a coach to help them write an internet dating profile that will get plenty of attention. But some people, whether they don’t have the ability or the time to do it properly, struggle to put together the perfect profile. For these kinds of people, dating coaching can make the difference between success and failure. Because while it all depends on you as soon as the first date comes around, we all have to learn to sell ourselves if we want to get that date in the first place.