|If you’re asking someone to ‘help stop my divorce’, the chances are you feel confused and defeated. So first of all, try to remember who first suggested divorce: Was it you or your partner? Or was it a mutually acceptable idea that just seemed to evolve?|
|If you suggested it, then you’re already in quite a strong position. Having decided that you don’t want to proceed – You should never skip this step! – then you must batten down your ego and approach your spouse in a spirit of reconciliation. Admit you acted in anger and/or in haste, or were being spiteful or resentful, but now you want to repair the damage. |
This reconciliatory approach is vital. Even though you instigated the proceedings, by now your partner may be thinking it’s not such a bad idea. It’s amazing how often the best response to ‘Help stop my divorce’ is to admit you were wrong and approach your partner in that spirit.
But if your plea is, ‘Help stop my divorce when my partner has started proceedings’, then your challenge is greater – but not insurmountable. You need to approach him or her and insist you don’t want a divorce. You may already have done this, but it all hinges on communication. HOW you say something is more important than WHAT you say.
If you have been aggressive in the past and it’s your custom to scream, swear and point the finger accusingly, then you need to calm down and be more respectful to your partner.
On the other hand, you must avoid passive behavior, such as, cowering, whining and pleading, as this makes you appear weak and unattractive. If your plea is ‘Help stop my divorce’, then you must make a serious effort to overcome destructive feelings such as anger, bitterness and resentment.
Being calm and mature in your approach (although vital) is not enough. You MUST offer some change. Each of you may forgive the other and be keen to reunite, but if it’s back to the ‘same old, same old’, your reconciliation won’t last long. It won’t survive on promises.
What could be different? For example:
* you could seek counseling
* you could promise to give up something that’s been creating a barrier
* you could have a plan of action that’s acceptable to both.
But a bunch of empty promises won’t have a lasting effect..
Counseling is one route you could go down. If you reached the stage where you were asking, ‘Please help stop my divorce’, then you will need help in the weeks and months ahead. The good news is that there are many excellent products online to help people like you who ask, ‘Help stop my divorce’. Take advantage of them!